This malady saps a wife's energy as well as her husband's, which in turn makes both less effective in their daily lives. The book of Proverbs has many verses regarding a merry heart and kind words, and also teaches about the
unrest caused by a quarrelsome wife, without qualifying whether or not it is warranted. If something is seriously wrong in one's life, the best and most effective solution is to go to God's Word, find out what He has to say about it, and then pray and
thank Him for the answer. Hard discussion might give an initial "release" and a husband might give in to his wife's demands, but there will be resentment and, more than likely, a temporary or incomplete patch rather than a permanent cure for the problem.
The habit of complaining renders only ill effects, and is an outward sign of inner lack of faith.
Paul tells us in Hebrews 13:5 that we are to be content with what we have. This doesn't mean we shouldn't desire better conditions
in which to live, or something more for our children, for God "takes pleasure in the prosperity of His servant" (see Psalm 35:27). Note, however, that the first part of this verse says, "Let those who favor my righteous cause and have please in my uprightness
shout for joy and be glad..." Our motivation must always be to please God and live according to His ways, not gratification of our own lusts, as James warns us in James 4:3, for that is asking "amiss." What the writer of Hebrews meant by "being
content" is that, in growing into a full measure and stature of faith, we can be at rest in our current conditions, for we know that our prayers and steadfastness (or biblical patience) will bring about whatever change is necessary. In the meantime,
we are to adapt ourselves to people and circumstances; to "bear and forbear." We can always ask God to right even minor irritations in our daily lives and then simply thank Him while we await His answer or manifestation. Again, after we've
prayed, we are merely to thankfully await His answer, for continuing to complain stems from doubt, which negates, or at least slows up, an answer to prayer. Just as the father of the stricken boy in Mark 9:24, we can as God to "help thou mine unbelief"
(KJV) as we continue to grow in faith.
Discontent almost always stems from a selfish, fleshly, "I want it now" attitude. When we hold fast to what we've asked of God in prayer, faithfully and without complaint until the answer
comes to pass, we let "patience have full play and and do a thorough work (in us), so that (we) may be perfectly and fully developed (spiritually), lacking in nothing." James 1:4 When we can be at peace regardless of circumstances, the harmony in our
lives will allow good things to more readily flow in and out, and whatever problems arise are more easily and quickly corrected. The key is standing steadfast with faith in God.
Here is what Paul wrote to the Philippians in chapter
4, verses 6 through 9:
4:6 "Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything by prayer and petition [definite requests] with thanksgiving continue to make your wants
known to God.
7 And God's peace [be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot of whatever sort
that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding, shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
8 For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy
of reverence and honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever islovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account
of these things -- fix your minds on them.
9 Practice what you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, and model your way of living on it, and the God of peace -- of untroubled, undisturbed
well-being -- will be with you."
Paul teaches us to put anger, jealousy, bitterness and resentment away from us (see Ephesians 4:31). Jesus Himself tells us to forgive seventy times seven (see Matthew 18;22) and to "turn the
other cheek" (see Matthew 5:39). God teaches us to live peaceably not so that we can show God and ourselves how perfect we are in being able to control our tempers, or by being "martyrs" and thus earning a place in His heart, but that we might have harmony
and lack of strife in our lives. When we guard our hearts against ill feelings, only asking God to heal and change any adversity, it keeps bad seeds from germinating into negative words or actions, for sin always begins in our thoughts. "Keep your
heart with vigilance and above all that you guard, for out of it flow the springs of life." (Proverbs 4:23)